Patient is New M2: Presents with Delirium Tremens, Withdrawal, Hyperactivity, Paranoia, Psychosis

1:35 p.m., August 20, 2017 

I’m really depressed right now. Not in like a serious way, but more in a melodramatic snap-out-of-it sense. I’m back at school. Sitting in a coffee shop. Hungover as hell. Sipping coffee. Reading Reddit. Pondering what will happen in tonight’s Twin Peaks episode. Thinking about writing. Writing a sentence then deleting it. Reading a paragraph of First Aid then quitting. Ruminating over my plan for the forthcoming year. Daydreaming of being back at Bonnaroo or on the beach or getting wasted all day in Chicago. Doing nothing.

One may wonder, why Soze, why are you sitting in a coffee shop mindlessly browsing the internet on the day before you start your second year of medical school when you should be at home snoozing and nursing that hangover of yours? I’ll answer for ya – In my joyful summer of hedonism, I was at home away from school for almost three months. Consequently, I completely neglected to pay my electric bill for my apartment in the summer. And what do ya know… I come back to get settled into school yesterday, and my electricity is turned off! Ain’t that funny.


Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume IV

In the twilight of my glorious summer, I’ve haven’t had a ton of time to write because I’m usually hungover or spending some quality time with the people I care about before heading back to school to begin my second year of medical school. Since my last batch of movie reviews, I’ve been drinking Moscow Mules on the beach, spent some blurry time in Chicago with friends and my old cohort, Hans Dix, and of course, catching some good movies in my off nights from the bars.

Because it’s been a month, I have about a dozen movies to review so I’ll likely post the next installment shortly after this one. While I’ve seen some snoozers, lately I’ve been on a hot streak and watched some a string of awesome horrors that score very highly in my nonsensical rating scale. The next two sets of reviews will contain some absolute gems, so read on for some recommendations.


Tyranny by Julian Casablancas & The Voidz is an Underrated Masterpiece

In 1967, The Velvet Underground & Nico released their self-titled album. It reportedly sold only 30,000 copies in its early years. It peaked at 171 on the Billboard charts. It did not achieve commercial success. Nor critical acclaim. As an active band, The Velvet Underground did not become popular.

Many years later, The Velvet Underground has been credited as one of the most influential bands of all time. In 2004, Rolling Stone ranked the band at 19 in their list of “100 Greatest Artists of All Time”. Their third album, The Velvet Underground, did not even reach the Billboard’s Top 200 albums chart upon it’s release. And now it is heralded is a classic, 10/10 record.

What happened? Why was The Velvet Underground a forgotten, unsuccessful band in their heyday, yet praised as genius so many years later? Lou Reed’s group took rock music and infused avant-garde, casting off the shackles of modern music, experimenting with unheard sounds, delving into dark subject matter, and creating music like nothing the world had ever seen. It was weird. It was different. People weren’t ready for it. People have an idea of what music should be and what music should sound like, and The Velvet Underground did not align with these ideas. They took music in a new direction. They opened Pandora’s musical box, inspiring thousands of bands, paving the way for new genres, and creating timeless sounds that are praised and adored to today.

As a general rule, what’s popular isn’t usually good. The masses don’t know good. They are told what is good. They are told what to like. Unable to recognize genius when it stares them in the face, or sends sonic vibrations through their eardrums. That is until, you know, some day people start saying, “you know… this is actually pretty damn good”. People are followers. But they caught on eventually.

The same will happen with Julian Casablancas & The Voidz debut album, Tyranny.


Relationships in Med School: Pros, Cons, and How to Make it Work

Recently, a prospective medical student in a Reddit thread asked me if I could shed some light on the topic of relationships in medical school. While I used to write for a TFM-style college site tailored towards partying and girls, and my writing style can definitely come across as “frat boy in med school with a major bro vs hipster identity crisis”, I am like all of you in some way or another. I’m a science nerd. A lover of music. A film junkie. Your everyday bar-dude drinking a Budweiser. A former college boy with a lust for life.

I try not to divulge too much about my personal life, but the aforementioned Redditor DrLaidBack said, “judging by your posts you seem like a bit of a player” and asked if I have ever written about stable relationships, prompting me to finally write this post.

This post will be a comprehensive guide to relationships in medical school. I’ll tell you about my personal experience. I’ll give you my opinions. I’ll outline the pros and cons of a relationship in medical school. I’ll discuss topics such as distance. And I’ll give you my own advice on how to make it work. This is coming from a guy’s perspective, but most of it is pretty applicable to all relationships.


Ode to the Anatomy Lab

This post is written in remembrance of my greatest medical school adversary – the Anatomy Lab. From my first voyage into the sterile, bright room housing dozens of dead bodies, to my final practical examination, this one goes out to all the medical students who have devoted countless hours dissecting and learning the human anatomy on deceased human beings. It’s a weird feeling stepping into a room with dozens of dead people inside, but the lessons learned are valuable, even if they were repulsive at times.

DISCLAIMER: This post contains graphic, written depictions of various parts of a dead human’s body. If you have a weak stomach, it might be best to pass on this article. But if you are a future medical student with a weak stomach, read it to get an idea of what you’re in for.


Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume III

Spent the last couple weeks working on my research, writing for a new project, getting drunk more nights than not, and spending my down time checking out movies, new and old. Some big-budget blockbusters, some indie picks, and even an unsettling Russian film. Read on for my latest batch of movie reviews and recommendations.

Check out my previous two installments:

Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume I

Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume II


Bar Etiquette: 21 Rules to Getting Drunk with Dignity

Today I’m going to stray from my normal content of medical school, music and movies, because on my summer break, I’ve been spending far more time in bars than I have in front of my computer. Every time I’m at the communal watering hole with some friends, I’m reminded of the how socially inept and unaware some patrons are on how to conduct themselves at a bar.

In college, I bartended at both a small, higher class bar and a giant shot-and-a-beer pub. Even on my summer break, I’ve picked up a couple shifts for cash. While I have admittedly been the incoherent idiot slamming shots, my time on the other side of the bar provided many insights into how things work. You ever wonder why you’ve been standing at the bar waiting so long that your buzz wears off to get your next drink while the guy next to you was served as soon as he walked up? Good chance you pissed off the bartender and the other guy has established rapport through being a smart, well-mannered patron.

Read below to find out how to be the guy who gets served instantly, receives discounted drinks, and is greeted with a smile and a handshake every time he steps into the joint.


Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume II

Hope everyone had a great Fourth of July holiday. I sure did. After a weeklong booze bender, I spent a couple days doing absolutely nothing aside from watching movies and taking naps, much in thanks to the blessing and curse that is the Amazon Fire Stick. I checked out a few popular picks, as well as some relatively under-the-radar movies that pleasantly surprised me. Been on a bit of a horror/thriller kick lately, so if you’re a weirdo who’s into blood and death, read on for some good suggestions.

For more, check out my first installment: Soze’s Movie Reviews: Volume I


“Trainwreck” is One of the Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen

While I was planning on just including a brief review in my latest installment of Soze’s Movie ReviewsTrainwreck was so bad that I felt compelled write a full post breaking how terrible this movie is. And even after 1000 words, I barely scratch the surface.

In need of some comic relief to remove the imagery of a deathly morgue from my mind, I decided to check out Trainwreck, which came recommended to me and sported good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Ironically, after Trainwreck I needed to watch another movie to ease the mental damage of Amy Schumer’s cringe-worthy “comedy” from my brain. Through the first 15 minutes or so, we follow Amy Schumer’s narration of her sex-life through a series of drunken hook-ups like she’s some female master-seducer who lives by a rule of not letting any dudes stay the night (as if they’d want to). She brags about constantly cheating on her bodybuilder boyfriend, John Cena. You go girl. Cena’s questionably gay antics are about the only time I half smiled during this mess.