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Med Student Syndrome

Through the trials and tribulations of medical school, your personal sanity will undergo many tests.  I’ve seemed to avoid the stereotypical medical school depression, typically sparked by the doom & gloom mentality that seeps its way into one’s psyche when they’re forced to learn seemingly endless amounts of drugs, diseases, and whatnot for years on end with minimal breaks. So far I’ve also avoided burnout, which is good considering I’ve only been here since July 5th and I’m only 25% done with my preclinical classroom-lecture-exam format of learning.

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How Hard is Med School?

It’s midnight and I have a headache. I’ve been staring at my bright computer screen all day and my eyes are bloodshot. My lower back is sore from sitting at my kitchen table for the entire day. Yes, the entire day. I have finally traded the caffeinated beverages for a glass of Makers Mark on the rocks, poured from a glass decanter inscribed with the phrase, “So it goes.” Fitting.

This morning, I woke up, brewed some coffee and sat down. Cracked open Functions and Disorders of the Immune System: Third Edition and read for two straight hours. One coffee lead to another. And another. I became so stimulated that I had no appetite.

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Intro to Soze Media

Who Am I?

I grew up as a nefarious troublemaker, always guided through life by music and the pursuit of self-actualization. I’ve gone through various phases, transitions, and stages of growth during the past few years, resulting in me becoming the man I am today.

During my early college years, I began writing about music because I really had no one else to talk to about my passion. After linking up with Total Frat Move columnist and fellow collegiate boss, Hans Dix, before my senior year, I started writing about boozing, picking up girls, and other various sorts of foolery at his site, The College Player.

Because I’ve graduated from college and I’m in medical school, I’ve entered a new phase in life which doesn’t revolve around girls and drinking, so I can no longer write about those subjects. Instead, I’ll be writing about various topics that interest me, namely music. Dominated by hipsters, most music journalism is incredibly pretentious and hive minded. I hope to introduce my readers to new music & ideas in a fashion that won’t make it seem like you need black-rimmed glasses and a latte in hand to understand.

In addition to my rants and raves about music, I’ll be using this blog to document the mental triathlon known as medical school.

These accounts reflect my personal experiences – the experiences of your former college idiot, current med student, day drinking enthusiast, with an aptitude for academics and a penchant for reckless behavior.  I am not a super-nerd who spent his college days holed up in the library constantly with my face buried in books.  I partied, I bartended, I chased girls, and I utilized my precious college years in the best way possible, savoring the splendor of youth while buckling down and killing exams when I needed to.

Why am I here? 

I was not forced by parental pressure or enamored with the prestige or money that comes with a medical degree. I decided on medicine based on three all-encompassing factors.

1.  Being a physician, or rather, being a GOOD physician, entails my biggest personal strengths and virtues:  academic intelligence, empathy, interpersonal skills, maniacal work ethic, and as gut-wrenchingly cheesy as it sounds, a passion to help others.  Unless we’re talking about starting a band or my childhood dream of being a professional baseball player, no other profession ever made sense.

2.  I chose medical school because of my inherent interest in the sciences. My favorite subjects were always biology and writing. And as you can see, I will incorporate both of these interests into my life. Since I was in high school, I always had a fascination with the human body. Whether it was researching the mechanisms of creatine supplementation in weight training, reading up on the pharmacology of MDMA, or attempting to understand the complex workings of the human endocrine system, the science of the human body has captivated my attention.

While everyone has different strengths, I cannot imagine myself spending my college years studying business, endlessly working through math classes, or chasing some irrelevant degree that would’ve resulted in zero job opportunities.  So, I declared my major as biology, aced my science classes, and followed the path towards medicine.

3.  Money, of course. I’m not an incredibly materialistic person and I don’t need a Ferrari in the garage to feel satisfied with myself. But I like to travel, dress well, and eat well.  I also plan to have kids someday and I want to give them the best life possible. Here’s my go-to response to this type of question: I’m not in it for the money, but I wouldn’t be in it without the money. Medical school and residency are too damn hard and time consuming for me to emerge with anything less than a 250k+ yearly salary when I’m finally done.

How Did I Get Here?

My path to medical school was traditional, although unorthodox at times.  I went to a large state university and majored in biology.  I had a close to a 4.0 GPA after my first two years and earned a full scholarship.  I joined a premedical fraternity, shadowed two doctors, and worked as a research assistant in a microbiology lab for one semester, which isn’t shit compared to most applicants.

During my third year, I embraced the hedonism of my fleeting collegiate years, turned 21, started bartending, drank like J.R. Smith after the Cavs won the finals, and skipped the majority of my classes. My GPA took a nosedive and I withdrew from my already minimal extra-curricular activities, and suddenly I had put myself in a not-so-great position. As such, I maniacally studied for the MCAT (Medical School Admissions Test), killed it, which pretty much wrote me a golden ticket for admittance.

During my senior year, I kept “decent” grades but didn’t apply. I had become consumed with developing myself and exploring my interests, to the point where I didn’t think I could see myself as a med student immediately following college graduation. I had decided to take a year off to party, to write, to bartend, and to improve my resume.

However, after a tumultuous, soul-searching winter, I haphazardly decided to apply to one school, the only one that was still accepting applications in my state. I finally got my application submitted a mere two weeks before the deadline. I was told that because I was applying so late, with such a meager application, that I had no chance. Despite this, I received an interview invite while wasted in Atlantic City.  I interviewed in March and was told that since I had applied so late, the class was full, but I’d be placed on the wait-list if I interviewed well.  I did in fact interview well and was placed on the waitlist.  On an afternoon in early May while I was bartending, I received a call from the dean, who extended an invitation to attend their medical school.

After I hung up the phone, joy swept throughout my body. I called my parents, my girl, and texted my friends. I took a shot of Jamo, went outside to smoke and bask in the beauty of the moment, and came inside to take another shot.  A realization hit me that instead of the school-free, fun-filled year of partying and writing that I had been anticipating, I’d be starting the hardest phase of my life on July 5th. And to that, I took another shot, and here I am.

Going Forward

So far, medical school has had ups & downs and everything in between. I greatly look forward to getting back to writing and documenting this experience. Enjoy.

Soze’s Fall Playlist (2017)

This aint your typical Tumblr-appealing fall playlist full yawn-inducing acoustic indie songs tailored to the Pumpkin Spiced Latte crowd.  As you must know, when I’m not reading about diseases and other medicine related stuff or slamming beers after an exam, music is a major focus of mine and has been for my entire life.  Certain songs, albums, and even particular sounds are associated with the crisp cool air of the autumn season.

The two months or whatever of the autumn season is probably the only time in the calendar year I’m happy to say I live in a non-tropical climate.  Something about the fall is so introspective, nostalgia-inducing, and eerily atmospheric.

Here’s a collection of my favorite songs that perfectly capture the fall atmosphere. (click the song titles for a link to each song)

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Movie Review: The Martian (2015)

This year, I have not been super hip with the latest movie releases, mainly because I’ve been busy and nothing has really piqued my interest.  However, I was in the mood to see a movie and a pretty girl wanted to see The Martian with me, so I decided to check it out.  Alright… Space, mars, Matt Damon, space, Kate Mara, Childish Gambino, space… I can dig it.

Now, keep in mind that I hadn’t heard much about The Martian and I didn’t know how it ended going in.  I just knew that it received favorable reviews. Plus, I’m a sucker for space movies and Kate Mara is pretty hot, so I had very high expectations.

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Okay, have you ever been left by your friends at the bar?  Yeah, imagine if your friends left you ON MARS.  I’d be pretty fucking ticked. Not an ideal situation.

Here’s how it went down: So, the space crew is on a Mars mission collecting rocks or some shit, until a sand storm hits and they decide to book it.  While making their way to the space shuttle to escape, Matt Damon gets smacked by some sort of space debris (Lmao). Fucking epic.

Consequently, the crew captain is all hysterical, “omg we gotta save Matt”, and everyone else is like… “nah”.  Smart.

They depart for home without Matt Damon, until they are finally alerted of his survival. You know at least one person on that ship was like, “I didn’t really like that guy anyways”.

First 0ff, who the hell, in their right mind, would want to go back and save Matt Damon anyways?  I mean, have you seen Interstellar?  He’s a conniving bastard.  I’d leave that dude to die, no doubt.

Back to Mars – roughly 10 minutes of movie goes by with Matt Damon being bummed he’s been left alone on Mars before he delivers this gem of a line: “I’m going to survive”.  Really dude?  This line was the equivalent of some douche bag whispering the ending of a movie in your ear. Come on. After he dropped that line, there is zero doubt he is going to die. Needless to say, that bummed me out.

Why couldn’t he just be a normal person and swallow a bottle of pain pills or something?

Whatever.

Okay, so Matt Damon gets deserted on Mars, he gets rescued in the end. Now what the hell can happen for 90 minutes in between to keep the audiences interested?  The writers struggled with this brain buster.

Every five minutes, some seemingly insurmountable problem arises and it appears as if Matt Damon has zero chance of survival. Then, within two minutes that problem will instantly be solved with some ridiculous solution (I don’t care if it’s scientifically accurate; it’s stupid).

Damon doesn’t have enough food to last him long enough until his escape?  Don’t sweat it – he has a eureka moment and decides to grow potatoes in his own shit.  Literally.

This cycle of ‘problem -> ridiculous solution -> problem  -> ridiculous solution’ repeats itself a solid 15 times throughout the movie.

Eventually, Childish Gambino comes in to save the day and devises a plan to sling shot the returning space ship around the earth and send it back to Mars. Routine stuff.

The worst part is when he finally does get rescued; he’s all buddy-buddy with the crew again. Not even a “what the fuck guys?” moment.

Throughout the movie I kept waiting for the big reveal that him and Kate Mara were having some sort of romantic affair (10,000 mile high club ftw). But no, there was no romantic or sexual backstory. What a waste of having Kate Mara in your movie.

Hollywood, you have failed me.

Okay enough negativity, it was an enjoyable movie overall. If you’re 12. I’m kidding. It was tight.

Now, one thing that is important to note is the immense production value of The Martian – they did a great job with the desolate soundscapes to make me feel like I was right there with Matt Damon.  And my hip 3D glasses ($13 bucks per ticket, are u Fuckin kiddin me?) made the endless scenery of red rocks seem kind of cool.  Although the highlight of the visual experience was in one of the commercials, if I’m being honest.

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While it added to the movie’s feel, the cinematography did an excellent job in killing all interest I ever had in space travel to Mars.  Seriously, that place is a barren, dusty wasteland.  I think I almost had an asthma attack just watching this movie.

Who the fuck in their right mind would ever want to travel to Mars?  And better yet, who would fund such an asinine mission?  Just go to the desert if you wanna play in the sand and collect some rocks. Save the cash. There are no aliens on Mars. There are no resources on Mars. And a pretty shitty view, to boot. So, if one positive were to come from this movie it’s the fact that we can close the books on the exploration of Mars. Now, we can allocate our money properly (lowering college tuition).

We’ve established that space is really dope no matter what, so the movie’s got that going for it. Ridley Scott gets a big red mark from me for not using Kate Mara effectively (see House of Cards season one). The plot was redundant and all over the place, but had enough feel-good moments to make it tolerable, and somewhat enjoyable.

While I love seeing space movies in theaters, it wasn’t worth the $13 admission fee, like Gravity was. Hell, The Martian made Gravity look like 2001.

I shouldve said said fuck the movie and gone for the in-theater blow job. Meh.

RATING: C

 

Album Review: Daft Punk’s “Random Access Memories”

It had been nearly six years since the French House duo, Daft Punk, released their underwhelming rock-infused LP, Human After All. It had been over a decade since the release of their Magnum Opus, Discovery, which featured house classics such as “One More Time” and the Kanye sampled track “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”.

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According to urban legend, Daft Punk was the single greatest live act to grace live audiences in the 21st century. I’ve watched videos of their near-mythical 2007 Coachella performance countless times, hopelessly dreaming of someday seeing the spectacle live.

Consequently, Daft Punk had reached an untouchable legend status. Despite their reputation, new music from them didn’t excite me. Because if we’re being honest, Human After All sucked.

Also, it seemed that “EDM” had been played out and driven to the ground by the likes of Skrillex and friends.

Conversely, what I couldn’t foresee was Daft Punk’s grand ambition and deviation from the their old house dance brand.

I fondly remember the day of Random Access Memory’s release, as I rushed to Best Buy to grab a copy before embarking on a road trip (I don’t think there is any better way to hear a new album). As the album unfolded over the next hour, I was completely mesmerized by the beauty and texture of each and every track. Not every song was memorable, but the ones that were exceeded any expectation I ever had for a Daft Punk album in 2013.

And as a fan of music, there isn’t a much better feeling than the rush in your chest when you’re completely blown away by a new song.  The feeling is sort of like asking out your crush in the seventh grade and her saying yes.

In particular, the thumping ballad “Instant Crush” is my favorite on the album and remains a staple in my rotation over a year after it’s release. How could it not?tumblr_mxdnmrq0bo1rs4m56o1_250 It was one of the best songs of the entire year. Julian Casablancas has always had a knack for catchy melodies, and he delivers one of his best ever here in a swooning falsetto.  Lyrically, he’s far removed from his drunken early Strokes days, and has morphed into some sort of lovelorn metaphysical poet. Soze Pro Tip: Put this track on with a cute girl.

Another bonafide masterpiece of a song on Random Access Memories is the divinely robotic “Touch”. For three minutes, the song builds with layering like any other on the album, only to arrive at dancing fiesta, before bridging into the most awe-inspiring musical moment of the year, as a choir sings “hold on, if love is the answer you’re home” over a densely orchestrated electronic backdrop.

Now, you’ve probably been waiting for me to mention the hit song “Get Lucky” with Pharrell. Is it a good tune?  Hell yeah.  Do I ever listen to it?  No.  I know I’m in the vast minority here, but I don’t like listening to Pharrell.  Don’t really understand how anyone above the age of 14 likes him.

But it doesn’t matter how you look at it – this song is a fucking home run (Mark McGwire esque) and a true achievement for the group.

In contrast, “Lose Yourself to Dance” was just downright annoying.  I mean the song is a calling to dance and I have never once wanted to dance while hearing that song. So I think it’s safe to say that song blows.

Towards the end, one of the songs I loved upon first listen was “Doin’ it Right”, featuring none other than Animal Collective electro-savant, Panda Bear. I don’t care who you are or what you like, that song is dope. Bonus points if you hear it on a dance floor.

Random Access Memories would totally be 10/10 if they replaced the two (even one was overkill) Pharrell songs with more Julian Casablancas and Panda Bear.

But seriously, as the album showed, Daft Punk’s ability to recruit perfectly placed outside talent is the album’s strength, which ultimately allowed them to musically go places not possible with just the robotic duo.

My expectations were met and exceeded with Random Access Memories, which is solid front to back, with moments of magic sprinkled throughout. Unforgettable melodies, ambitious vision, and an abundance of feel-good groovy tunes make this album an absolute essential of the decade.

RATING: 8.5

Favorite Tracks:

  • Giorgio by Moroder
  • Instant Crush
  • Touch
  • Doin’ It Right
  • Contact

Skippable:

  • Give Life Back to Music
  • Lose Yourself to Dance
  • Fragments in Time