January 2021

One day you pick up the phone. It’s the dean of a medical school. He congratulates you on your acceptance into their medical school. You are so overwhelmed with joy that one lonesome tear crawls down your cheek. You let it roll. And you wipe it away quickly because you’re bartending and absolutely no one wants to see their bartender cry. For god sakes, no emotions. But you’re so happy you want to cry. You call your mom and your dad. You try to contain it but every cell in your body is bursting with euphoria. Your life changes. You have a future. You are going to be a doctor. This is one of the best moments of your entire life. Congrats.

Then one day you wake up on the floor, alone in your apartment. It’s the emptiest of feelings. You hate who you’ve become. The morning light spills through the blinds to the patio. It burns your eyes. Empty bottle of nine dollar Merlot on your coffee table. Your old MacBook is in front of you, last open to text message threads from friends and people you loved who only exist in these archives. You read them to relive old memories that no one aside from you even gives a shit about. The texts you sent in 2017 read like they were sent from someone else. An entirely different human being.

Zesty Mortdon is a recent medical school graduate who will start his emergency medicine training in July. In part two of this series, he addresses the competitiveness of EM, gives insight into the application process, touches on SLOEs, and gives advice on how to stand out on audition rotations. If you haven’t checked out part one yet, click here: The Med Student’s Guide to Emergency Medicine (Part 1)

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Jordan Soze here. Today we’re featuring a guest post from a good friend of mine who will be contributing more in the future. Zesty Mordton is a fourth year medical student who recently matched into a top emergency medicine program (congrats again my dude). Furthermore, I’ve known him since high school where we bonded over music (and even saw Radiohead together). Dude is brilliant and one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet. By some struck of luck, he happened to be in the class above me in my medical school where he’s been an invaluable mentor during my journey. Naturally, in the twilight of his medical school career, I asked him if he’d like to contribute some of that sage wisdom to Soze Media and he delivered this absolute gem of a post.

If you’re considering applying to emergency medicine or simply want to know what it’s all about, read this post. Bookmark it. Save it. And read it again. It’s an in depth exploration into choosing emergency medicine as a career and the application process, so I’ve split the post into two parts. In part one, he discusses why he chose emergency medicine, what type of students should consider EM, and gives insight into the specialty. In part two, he gives priceless advice on applying to emergency medicine, including competitiveness, audition rotations, SLOEs, how to impress, and so on. Enjoy! 

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Another entry into the Med School Memoirs series. Wrote this yesterday. Haven’t edited it and don’t know if it’ll make the book I’m feeling good right now so I’m posting it. Enjoy.

Smell the Roses.

I skimmed my book with a blue sharpie pen in hand while he muttered notes from the morning’s final operation into the Dragon speech recognition microphone. Occasionally he’d pause and say something and I’d perk up and look at him as if he were speaking to me only to realize he’d just resumed dictating his post-op notes. After multiple rounds of this “is he speaking to me or the computer” game, his head turned towards me. I closed my book and looked up at him. This was the real deal. He asked, haven’t you finished that book yet?

Yes, I said. I’m just going through it again. I want to make sure I learn as much as possible before my audition rotations.

Put it away, he said. Let’s get some lunch. He stood up from his computer and I followed him down the hospital corridor. He pulled his surgical mask from his neck and threw it in the trash. I did the same. You’re smart and you work hard, he continued. You’re going to make it.

Thanks doc, I replied. I just… it’s stressful, you know? I feel like time’s flying.

He nodded and continued walking without a reply. His lack of response made me wonder if what I said had sounded stupid to him. I cared what he thought about me, which led me to overthink many of the things I said to him. He was an intelligent and accomplished surgeon, which is what I hope to be. Some day.

We walked side by side; I was on the left and he was on the right. He turned left into me towards the stairwell door and we did that awkward thing where you’re in someone’s way and you have a western gun draw about which way you should move to actually get out of the way. That’s the thing about being a med student; you’re either in the way or invisible. Today I was in the way.

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I have written dozens of similar stories, but haven’t had the courage to post any of them, until today. Therefore, if you enjoy this story, I encourage you to leave a comment, tweet at me, send me an email, share it on your preferred social media – anything.

It would mean the world to me. Enjoy.

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Welcome. Let’s get to it.

I have been trying to write this post for months but I never seem to find the right words.  Several times per week, I’ll write this post and delete it.  I can’t write anything on this site anymore.  But I need to just finish this and post it so that I can jump over that mental hurdle.  So, I’ll skip the flowery introduction and get the purpose of this post immediately.

While I haven’t been posting much on Soze Media lately, I have been writing. In fact, have been writing more than ever. But I’m not writing end of rotation reviews, or how-to lists, or anything of that nature. Rather, I’m writing a book.  For now, the working title is “Med School Memoirs”.

It is a collection of short stories. Many are real, others are fiction, and some blur the line between the two. I was going to try to explain the stories but I can’t seem to do it. Some stories are directly about being a medical student, while others simply take place in the setting of medical school.

When I started writing them, I had no intention to share them, meaning I could write without worrying what readers may think – which is the best way to write and stay true to your voice. My site grows in popularity and page views every month, but I haven’t posted any of these stories due to the fear that no one will care. The whole “putting yourself out there” thing, you know? It gives me anxiety.

But since I’m finally posting this announcement, I know that it must come with a teaser. I’ve written over 50 stories, and I’ll write 50 more, but the book will be a selection for 30 or so of the best stories. Therefore, once in a while until I release the book (likely early 2020), I’ll post a story that won’t make the final product and will be left on the cutting room floor. Here’s one such story, a tale of loneliness, isolation, and love.  It’s the story of my old friend and neighbor, Raj.

Med School Memoirs: Str8 Outta Mumbai

Twitter: @JordanSoze
Email: collegesoze@gmail.com

More to come.